A Challange Beyond Immortality
by Angel May Cry
Summary: One word...cookies. It's complete. Yeah, another short and lame one
1. Curious vampire

~Challenge beyond immortality` 

Chapter one: Curious vampire 

another one of my pointless and lame humor fics

usual disclaimers that anyone would put (the world is so sew happy its sick, I mean come on, do they really think we try to say we own something like a whole series or company?!)

  


One wonderful day at the Hellsing manor, Integra's sweet tooth was acting up. She wanted chocolate. Chocolate chip cookies. She wasn't about to go out and buy them either. She went down into the kitchen. She opened the fridge and pulled out some Pillsbury chocolate chip cookie dough in a big tub. She set it on the counter, then got a big spoon, metal tray, and started pre-heating the oven.

She opened the tub and looked at the delicious cookie dough, even not baked it tasted good to her. She began spooning big clumps out and plopping them on the tray. She looked at her tray, she thought to herself that maybe she should make two. Walter might want some. So she repeated the process and then put both trays in the oven. While the cookies baked she went into the next room and continued reading a book. Simple task. Then she jumped up. She forgot to set the timer. Integra was a perfectionist when it came to her cookies. They had to be perfect, just how grandma made them.

Alucard awoke and decided to see what his master was up too. When he was close to the kitchen he smelled the cookies baking. He had no idea. The last time he must have had or seen a cookie was in a good hundred years. He stood in front of the oven and looked inside. He was very puzzled. What was that? Who put it in there. He opened the door to it and bent down to look inside.

"Cookies?!" It was like a reunion with a loved one who you thought you would never see again."I wouldn't doubt it if the last time I tasted a cookie was when I was human."

"Who's in there?" Integra asked from the other room.

Alucard vanished himself, she looked behind her shoulder. Alucard for some reason didn't even come to mind. She began to read again. Alucard became visible. He opened the oven again and peered inside, watching the dough puff and bake. For some reason, he wanted one. He waned a human snack. He reached his gloved hand inside to take one out. Had no idea they weren't done and could touch it. Accidentally he touched the hot, orange glowing heat bar.

"Agh! What was that?" He had burned his hand and there was a charred whole in his glove. Even as his skin regenerated it stung.

Alucard decided to take it easy and just go sit with his master. He wouldn't question the cookies. He appeared beside her. Put his hand on top of the book and pushed it shut. Integra marked her page and put it on her lap.

"Yes." she said looking at him

"How are you tonight?" he asked kindly

"I'm fine. You?"

"Oh, I'm fine as well." he smiled

"You don't have anything to do again." she said questionably

"No I don't."

"Well, I'm baking cookies. I guess you could have one. I don't know if vampires eat cookies though." she joked

Alucard's face lit up "That would be great. I haven't had one in so many years."

"I just have to let them finish. The timer will go off."

"This is something you do a lot that I don't know about, master?

"Not often, occasionally."

"I've never seen you."

"I do it in the day mostly. Or I make them and you aren't around."

Alucard laughed

the timer beeped.......he could finally have a cookie

  
  



	2. If you give a vampire a cookie

Challenge Beyond Immortality

Chapter 2:If you give a vampire a cookie

again, usual disclaimers

  


"That would be our cookies." Integra said getting up, hearing the beep

Alucard smiled like a happy kid who's getting a new toy. He didn't have to do anything to get one. Child's play. He inched into the kitchen. Integra put all the cookies on one plate and walked over to Alucard and put it to his face. He sniffed the fresh scent of the cookies. She took one off the plate and put it in front of Alucard's mouth. Almost on instinct, he opened his mouth and took a bite out of it. The mix of baked dough and chocolate swirled around in his mouth as he slowly chewed it. Integra giggled at his action. Then she ate the rest of the cookie. Alucard was amazed. It tasted wonderful, it was such a big treat to him. One bite and he was obsessing over cookies! Both of them started laughing. Alucard noticed a few crumbs on her lips and took them off with a kiss. They stared laughing again, Integra really hadn't noticed what he just did. 

"I guess vampires do eat cookies." she said

"At least I do." he stated, taking one more. 

Integra carried the plate into the room where she was reading and placed the cookies on a coffee table in front of the couch. Alucard sat close beside her, so close that their bodies touched. Alucard's only true weakness, Integra's chocolate chip cookies. They sat there laughing and eating the until there were only about 3 cookies left. Through chewing and laughing Integra said,

"We have to leave some for Walter. He also enjoys them."

"Oh, damn. Those were absolutely delicious, master."he complimented

"Thank you, Alucard. Anyone can make them though."

Alucard had an idea. That phrase repeated it self over and over in his head. He figured if anyone could make them, why can't he? Then he could have all the cookies he wanted, and he could share them with Integra. They barely ever had fun like that and were able to laugh so much. He decided he would try to bake some cookies while Integra was out the next day doing errands. What a surprise it would be.

The next morning Integra rushed out the door. Alucard was up as well. He put on his sunglasses and went to the kitchen. No one was around. He began looking for the dough. He looked in cabinets, draws, the pantry. The last thing that came to mind was the fridge. He spent a good ten minutes looking. He got out a big spoon, remembering the one Integra left out when he walked in on the baking cookies. He remembered the trays too. Easy. It's true anyone could do it. He read the back of the tub and started putting clumps of dough on the tray, too much in fact. It wouldn't really do to much though. He began thinking about last night with Integra, even what went on after the cookies.... His head was in the clouds. He popped the tray in the microwave and set it for 15 hours, thinking he pressed minutes. He stood around waiting. He noticed it and been way more than 15 minutes. Then he realized he put them in the microwave in the first place! He then took it out and walked over to the oven. On his way there he tripped on the fallen spoon and fell. The cookies were ruined. Maybe not just anyone could do it. He was beginning to be very frustrated.

Then Alucard picked up the tray and put it in the sink. He cleaned all the dough off the floor. He washed the tray and spoon, ridding the evidence. He put everything back. Failure. Integra's words still haunted him as he tried to sleep. He though about things such as, what would she think of him if he couldn't even bake cookies. To Alucard it was a challenge beyond immortality !He felt, well...stupid.

~Still more to come (I know- it's lame, but this is what happens when I get bored. Thanks for the review(s)


	3. Final Challange

Challenge Beyond Immortality

Chapter 3: Final challenge

  


Alucard knew Integra could come home soon. He had to give up on the cookies for today. Tomorrow was another day. He sat in his room on the solitary chair sipping his blood packet. He had to impress Integra, he just had to. And besides that, he wanted more cookies. All he could think of were cookies Then, he had an idea. He could go to the supermarket and get some tips, and maybe add something more to the cookies. So he did.

Alucard walked down the bakery isle, he looked at all the different products. Then he spotted a booklet hanging on a chain in a shelf. 'Make Homemade Cookies from Nothing'. He read all about the ingredients he needed. He carefully picked everything out that was needed. He knew he would have trouble putting it all together, he snatched the booklet and hid it in his coat. Then he saw a tiny container with little round sugar sprinkles. He thought it would be great to add to the cookies. As he walked don the isle he saw many different mixes. He bought one of each, chocolate chip, chocolate, peanut butter, sugar, and M&M's. He could make a whole assortment of cookies! 

Back at the manor, he stuffed the bags of cookie making products under his mattress. No one could see it. He smiled at the fact that now he knew he could make the wonderful cookies for his master and himself, and than some. He put the little booklet in the bags as well. Everything was going to be great. He thought that if he could make cookies, why he could make tons of sweets! Cupcakes, cakes, maybe even...pizza! (However pizza got in his head)

The next morning, he began setting everything up. He carefully followed what the booklet and boxes said. This time he remembered to put it in the oven. He patiently waited. He was just so proud of himself. Maybe it wasn't a challenge beyond immortality, maybe Integra was right, anyone could do it...with a little knowledge of how. Then he remembered Integra's birthday was only in a week. He pictured himself making her cookies and a big cake. His little cookie infatuation was getting more in depth, now it was just a baking obsession. Amazing what being dead for so many years can do to you.

*Beep*

His cookies were ready. A smile stretched across his face. He tried one of every kind. Perfect. He put them all in a large bowl and stood there, waiting for his master. He just had to hope for the best. That she would love his homemade cookies. But, he still thought her's were better. Most likely because, well, they were from Integra. He heard the door open. She started walking toward the kitchen...and went right past it. Alucard groaned and teleported himself to her room. H knew she'd be going there. He stood in front of the door, fairly close. Close enough that he would be the first thing she saw. Then the door opened. There was Integra.

"Hello Alucard." She said not looking at him just yet in her usual tone

then she noticed 

"What's all this?" she peered into the bowl "Walter made us cookies. How dear."

"Master," his eye twitched "I made them for us."

She stood there for a moment

"You did? That's sweet. Alucard, why?" she was flattered

"We had so much fun that day. I never saw you laugh that much. I wanted to show you how much I enjoyed that night. I thought maybe we could do that again."

She was touched "I never expected this. You out did yourself."

"I did it all for you." he smirked

"No one ever did something like this for me. Alucard..." she softly gave him a kiss

Alucard almost fell over. A dream coming true. He just smiled. He put the bowl down on her night stand and sat on her bed. She was going to sit next to him, he put his arms on each side of her waist and pulled her on his lap. They began re-living that night just as he wanted. So it took cookies to bring them together. 

Meanwhile..Walter was heading toward her room to go dust. That's when he heard the laughter and other sounds. He knew Alucard was in there with her, no one else was there. (A/n: Seras wasn't there yet) His eyes widened and he just walked passed. He couldn't believe that Integra fell for the vampire she had awoken and got THAT involved with him. He walked past. He thought,

"I hope he can't get her pregnant. I think I best never mention this." Poor Walter. If he only knew it was all thanks to cookies.

(I think I'm ending it here, if anyone wants me to continue and/or has an idea, review me. Thanks.)


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